As a Parent

Stay connected. Talk with your child in a non-judgmental way. Be supportive of them. Separate your comments about their behavior from them as individuals.

Tell them you love them and give them hugs every day. Scientific studies have shown that human touch is essential not only for emotional well-being, but also for physical survival.

Life if stressful. Regularly affirm your child as a good person. “Catch them” doing something right every day.

If you see some of these symptoms and are concerned:

If you determine it is a non-emergency:

1. Listen to your child. You don’t learn anything from talking.
2. Listen to your gut. You know your child better than anyone.
3. Consult a professional. Get counseling for your child and yourself as soon as possible.
4. Remove any weapons or potential weapons from your home and your child’s reach (this includes guns, knives, prescription drugs, over the counter medications). Your children are smart. If determined, they can and will access even locked weapons.
5. Build a support network of mentors for your child – and yourself. Teens and young adults desperately want affirmation from an adult and someone to discuss their thoughts and choices, who will not be judgmental.
   Help build relationships for your children with family members, friends, neighbors, church members who are good with communicating with children, teens and young adults. Someone who has dealt with tough issues in their own life and dealt with them positively is ideal.
6. Admit your mistakes, apologize to your child. If it is necessary to make amends, let them see you do this. This not only makes you more approachable, it gives your child permission to make mistakes and learn to recover from them. They need to know that making a mistake does not make you a bad person and will not make your family love you less. They also need to know they are responsible for their mistakes and the consequences, but that you will help them learn and support them in doing the right thing.
7. Chances are when they are stressed, you are stressed. Having someone outside the situation to listen calmly and be supportive is very important. It does not have to be the same person for you and your child.
8. Make sure you are connected to your child’s support group and they are people who will keep your child’s confidences and provide sound advice in minor situations, but will tell you if there is a serious situation needing attention.